That darn alarm clock woke me up again. After dealing with sore tootsies and long walks not on a beach, I decided to use the hotel’s free shuttle service. With several departure times to choose from, I selected the second which would give me lots of time to walk slowly to the main gate.
The driver was full of energy and made sure we all knew which bus we were on and where he would pick us up. Thumbs up for Bob. At least I think that’s his name. Slow and steady, I made it to Universal Studios’ entrance with so much time to spare that I ate my Corn Pops while waiting for the park to open. Once the family of the day did their thing sans any characters, they let us in. Well, they let other people in. The guy at the front of our line had trouble with his ticket and finger scanner. Eventually I made it to the turnstyle where I too was rejected. The woman working there gave me grief saying the problem was my finger. Lady, even Abby’s hippo Bert could have told you my print was a match.
While everyone went straight towards Shrek 4D, Revenge of the Mummy, and Hollywood Rip Ride rockit, I veered right where I was stopped by staffers. There was an imaginary rope to drop. No, I’m lying. After 5-10 minutes the call came thru to the walkie talkie that all of the attractions were open. Still taking my sweet time, lots of people walked, jogged, skipped, sashayed, and even rolled by me. Eventually I made it to my first ride of the day, The Simpsons (sing it).
Up the incline queue, into the building, and stopped in the main waiting room for what seemed like forever. Then into a smaller room where we watched instructions and then into the vehicle. I was climbing into the front seat when a guy asked if I’d sit in the back so e could be with his girlfriend. Sure, no problem. Uh, wait. There was a problem. I was now buckled in beside a screaming non-English speaking foreigner with a shrill voice. I gave this woman a look that said, Do you REALLY have to shriek at everything? She didn’t get it. And so I left The Simpsons Ride with an echo in my ears and a headache. TV trivia for 3 points! Which sitcom star voices Sideshow Bob?
With barely a soul in sight, I continued moving forward and put my belongings in a locker beside Men in Black. Universal doesn’t allow bags on certain rides and provides free locker rentals for an allotted amount of time. What I didn’t know was it changes from attraction to attraction and increases or decreases depending on the expected wait time.
It was a complete walk-on, you know the type where walking through the entire queue seems silly because there’s no wait whatsoever. After my first defense against aliens I asked to ride again. The gentleman told me to go upstairs, across the platform and back down again. Okay. When I got to the bottom the 2 guys asked me why I went all the way around. They were so cute and friendly. They told me next time, I should let their co-worker know they said I could walk right thru the curtain which is all that separates loading and unloading. :clap, clap:
After my second spin, I did just that and within a nano second I was back fighting creepy crawlers. That third ride was enough for me because the ride vehicle does some quick spins and as you learned previously, my equilibrium is not what it used to be. Gone are the days of loving the Round Up at carnivals. Heck, some parking garages put off my balance.
I picked up some postcards in the gift shop and went to retrieve my bag. The system said I owed money. What?! No way! I called over the attendant who explained the whole locker rental time change thing. See, I was timing myself at an hour based on my 1 hour and 15 minutes of rental time the day before with Harry Potter. He overrode the program so I could retrieve my stuff free of charge. Whoo!
This section of my trip report needs a photo.
The Jaws attraction was scheduled to close permanently so I just had to go for one last cruise. I expected a decent wait but it wasn’t bad, maybe 20 minutes or so and I got there within 5 minutes of it opening (an hour after park opening). The captain was awesome! Good acting skills with just a hint of cheese for flavor. As photography was prohibited, I didn’t get his photo or his arch nemesis. Movie trivia time for 6 points. Why is the animatronic shark used in the Jaws movie named Bruce?
Disaster! No, no, no, nothing went wrong. Disaster was the thing I did next. This was my longest wait. The posted time was 20 minutes and I had I made the cut-off for the next show (missed it by about 7 people), I would have slid in in less time. I waited a good 40 minutes leaning on a trash can and guard rails in various seductive poses. If you love Christopher Walken then you must experience Disaster. I don’t love him… I do enjoy his work…uh, not enough to send him Christmas cards :shrug: or call on his birthday :tilt head, turn hand palm up: but…well, you get the idea.
After the labyrinth I trudged thru at Islands of Adventure, I decided to plunk down some money at a real restaurant for lunch. It was my first time eating at Finnegan’s Bar and Grill and it was A-OK. The chef and I went over my dietary restrictions and came up with chicken, boiled potatoes, cabbage, and other vegetables. They serve a nice soda bread before the meal on a wood shamrock-shaped cutting board. With my AAA card, I saved 10%. Actually, I tried to grab the attention of a family sitting near me to tell them about the discount but they didn’t notice.
The mummy hunks as I like to call them were just outside Finnegan’s. No visit to Universal Studios is complete without seeing these classically-trained stilt-walking specimens. I wasn’t going to get any closer to Revenge of the Mummy. Come to think of it, I’ve never even looked to see if there’s a gift shop for it. Do they sell mummy hunks?
Bonus trivia! The Mummy trilogy stars Brendan Fraser. Name my favorite Brendan Fraser movie.
Beef on a stick. :giggle:
Following lunch I wandered around, took photos of “New York,” saw Doc Brown (not to be confused with Dr. Brown’s which is delicious), and breezed through the Twister gift shop (thank you, I’ll be here all night). In truth I was just killing time before the next Beetlejuice Graveyard Revue, another item to knock off my list of “new” experiences.
Honey, I can’t find Pirates of the Caribbean anywhere on this gosh-darn map.
Why had I never seen this show before? Seriously. I kept asking myself that question. Perhaps I saw a Beetlejuice show at Universal Hollywood and didn’t like it. No idea but I LOVED Orlando’s version. I even considered seeing a second show but never made it back. Why I enjoyed the show so much was the music is mostly from the 80’s, the monsters can sing (Bride of Frankenstein belongs on a record label), it’s kitchy, and I kept visualizing Sergio from Menudo as the Wolfman. Oh, and the warm up guy was a hoot. If anyone recalls the older gentleman who kept folks entertained at Disneyland before Fantasmic!, this guy was his devlish brother.
It’s not easy being married to someone who’s green.
Beetlejuice’s Graveyard Revue sponsored by MAC.
Over to the Hollywood side I walked and watched the Horror Make-up Show. I was one of the last ones seated which meant the show started soon after. I got an end seat in the 4th or 5th row beside a well-behaved little boy. I don’t remember seeing this show before or perhaps not this version. It was entertaining and I had hoped to learn the process of applying monster make-up but that wasn’t in the script. Movie trivia for 3 points. What did Alfred Hitcock use for blood in the film Psycho?
When I entered the park in the morning many, many attractions were closed so I shuffled on back to knock them off my list. I watched Animal Actors on Location which is comprised of parrots, a pig ho wants to work, dogs, amoebas, ducks, cats, centaurs, and other -legged friends. Continuing into Woody Woodpecker’s Kidzone I saw Fievel’s Playland which is adorable and oversized so you feel like the size of a mouse. Now, I know who Fievel is but does this generation of toddlers? E.T. was calling my name so we went for a bike ride together which turned into a escape from the cops and an interplanetary flight to E.T.’s home planet. That was exhausting. Thank goodness we exited into a gift shop so I could buy something to remember him by. “Could buy” being the operative words becaue I didn’t see anything I needed.
Just as I headed to a snack cart to buy anything that looked bad for me, terrible noises and flashing lights came from beyond. A deep voice wouldn’t stop pounding in my eardrums. I fell to my knees to beg for mercy. When I lifted my head, I saw the cause of my pain. A Day in the Park with Barney and his store. Agh! The horror! Bonus trivia question. For 8 points, what childrens show (no longer in production) scares me more than Barney?
In order to regain my sanity, I headed to the Kwik-E Mart. There I chatted up some fella working the register and picked up some yummy fruit snacks and a wash cloth featuring The Simpsons for my future guests in the future guest bathroom in my future house. Yes, I am awesome.
Someone said the parade was starting and so off I went to see Macy’s Holiday Parade. For some reason, I thought they were re-running Thanksgiving. I was wrong, it was a Christmas-themed parade. They had lots of balloons but the characters like Grover, Curious George, and Scooby Doo were out in the park. In the parade there was Uncle Sam, a football, Macy’s stars, and so on.
I get it. He’s trapped in a box.
Do NOT try to braid the strings, ladies!
Universal is obsessed with stilt walkers so a few of those were tosed in the mix along with characters on various modes of transportation (The Simpsons in an RV) or on a float. It was a nice parade but my favorite was at the end when a nice Jewish boy escorting Santa’s float walked by wearing a menorah hat. And thus my people were represented.
The last stop at the park was Shrek 4D. I fibbed my way into the dungeon so as not to wait for the next show. The fella working the doors asked if I was with the family reunion ahead of me. I said yes. And under my breath I said I was the adopted white girl. My “cousins” sat on either side of me and I had to use my favorite non-thrill ride prank. It goes a little something like this:
Me: Hi. Have you been on this ride/show/attraction before?
Victim: No, it’s my first time.
Me: Well, then make sure to put on your seatbelt.
Victim: Thanks. (looks around for seatbelt)
Me: (laughing) I’m just kidding. This thing doesn’t move/barely moves.
Victim: Oh! You got me! (laughing)
After riding around with Donkey, we were deposited into a…gift shop! I didn’t buy anything there either. After an easier walk thanks to the other pair of sneakers I brought, I made an early bus back to my hotel. I popped into the deli-type shop and bought a croissant. With my handy dandy microwave, I reheated the extra baked potato from the day before (my room had a fridge). The croissant met the package of tuna and they were immediately married and then devoured. I was so pleased with my culinary skills.
A nice rest and a full tummy meant I was ready for more action but not any old sort of fun, I went to Disney World! (the crowd goes wild) Set to knock even more off the list of Things I Have Not Yet Done Even Thought I’ve Been to Walt Disney World Almost Thirty Times – Seriously What is Wrong with Me? I aimed for Atlantic Dance Hall. Buuuut before I got there, I came across a free Boardwalk show. Woohoo!!
Magician/comedian Brian Staron entertained the crowd of kids, adults, and quiet hecklers.
Atlantic Dance Hall was empty. The only people there were the DJ, a few bartenders, 2 custodians, a greeter, and me. P-a-r-t-y!! If you’ve never been, they play music videos on humungous screens overlooking a dance floor. I was told it’s always quiet leading up to Christmas. Since no one was around I asked the DJ to play Ricky Martin. The response? “I haven’t played him in like 10 years.” Uh, dude. I thought DJs kept up with music.
Pink hair is so Lady Marmalade 2001.
One more item came off my list, Jellyrolls, the dueling piano bar. I sat at the bar in the back of the room and asked the waitress for a menu. They don’t have food there as it turned out, just popcorn. I don’t drink but she brought me a glass of water and a basket of popcorn. The show okay. I liked 2 of the 4 performers. One duo kept singing songs I had never heard or strongly disliked. The other duo I kept up with most of the time. After an hour and a half I called it a night and left.
Keep up with my shenanigans on Facebook.
Bert the Hippo rocks!!!
Chocolate syrup was used as blood in “Psycho.”
Lisa,
I have come to the conclusion that you simply must take MORE vacations so that I can continue to enjoy your travel blogs. Your dry wit tickles me.
Lisa responds: I would love to take more vacations. Please send your donations to…
Gotta have my pops.
1) Kelsey Grammer, 2)Bruce is the great white shark in Finding Nemo, and Jaws is a great white shark, 3)George of the Jungle?,4)chocolate syrup, comment) I wish there were centaurs, that is my favorite segment of Fantasia, 5)The Wiggles or Lazy Town? Also I have always had problems with their finger printer machines, and I feel your pain, the most recent wedding I attended the DJ thought I was odd because I wanted him to play the electric slide, which he didn’t have. Its not like I asked him to play the Bunny Hop, you would think they have classic group dance songs that white people look silly doing in a file on hand, but no.
Lisa responds: The DJ didn’t have the Electric Slide?! I mean I can’t do it but unless you’re at some hip club that only plays trance music, the dude (or dudette) should have it. I’ll post the answers next week.
Hi Lisa,
Your blogs are a hoot to read. Are you going to post the answers to the trivia questions you provided. I think I know most of them but want to verify.
Lisa responds: Thanks. I am hoping you guys will respond to the trivia questions. I’ll post the correct answers next week.
I, too, had multiple problems with using my ticket and finger to get into Universal Studios as well as waiting to use the lockers because people couldn’t figure them out (use your knuckle, not your finger tip). Also was told I had to pay [to retreive my items from a] locker at Men in Black but the attendant removed the charge. We only rode the thing twice in a row, literally, so how could we be over the time? Universal needs to work on this stuff although, to be fair, we’ve sometimes had problems with our tickets and fingers in getting into Walt Disney World as well.
What a great review, it kept me amused during a boring lunch, and it was just like being there!