How to use Walt Disney World to give your kids a little more independence

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It’s been said that once a mother gives birth to her child, the process of letting go begins. Sure, it may start with the separation of teaching a baby to sleep in his own bed. But, in what seems like the blink of an eye, your child is ready to take bigger steps toward independence — whether you, the parent, are ready or not.

As my almost-12-year-old son prepares for his first year of middle school, I definitely have felt those tugs on my heartstrings this summer. And no matter how prepared you — and your child — are, it’s still a bit disconcerting.

This week, my son was invited to go to the Magic Kingdom with a friend and her family for the day. What a great opportunity, right? Of course it was! The outing, though, got me thinking about how parents can grant their children some freedoms while on vacation without sacrificing their safety (or the parents’ sanity).

For my husband and I, the decision to allow our son to go to Walt Disney World without us was not difficult. We know the family, and we are comfortable with our son’s ability to navigate the Magic Kingdom under most circumstances. As Florida residents with annual passes to Walt Disney World, we have been taking my son to the theme parks since he was a baby. He is as familiar with the Magic Kingdom as he is his own back yard.

But our confidence in our son’s ability to handle the bustling Magic Kingdom without the security of his parents has been built through a series of interactions over the years. It likely began on the trips when my husband was not present, and my son was too old to go into the women’s bathroom with me. With instructions to “hurry,” he tackled his business and I anxiously waited outside the men’s loo, counting the seconds until he emerged.

Once that separation was mastered, we slowly added others. My son was allowed to go short distances without us — to take a closer look at something as we trailed behind — or to ride in an adjoining car on the Tomorrowland Transit Authority. Over the years, we have worked our way up to where we are now — controlled independence in the parks. If my son doesn’t want to experience the attraction that the rest of his family is going on, he can walk through the line and wait for us at the end of the queue. If he would like a drink, he can take the cash to a counter-service location, purchase one and come back to where we are.

That said, I am not comfortable with total independence from adults at this age, even if Disney is. This summer, the company lowered the minimum age for a minor to ride Disney’s Magical Express, the complimentary bus service that shuttles resort guests between their hotels and Orlando International Airport, without an adult. Disney now allows kids ages 12 and older to ride without adult supervision; previously, the minimum age was 16. Even the minimum age to enter the Disney Parks unaccompanied by an adult is 14.

Of course, these are simply the written rules. Making the decision of what is appropriate for each child in his or her care is a parent’s responsibility.

Do you use vacations as a time for teaching independence? We’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.


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4 Replies to “How to use Walt Disney World to give your kids a little more independence”

  1. This is something I’ve been considering as our Sept.1 trip gets closer. My husband & I have discussed what we’re okay with & what we’re not since we have a 15 yo niece coming with our 12 DS & 9 DD. I have to admit that the kids want to explore the parks with cousin by themselves but we’re not ready for that. We’ve decided that they can go to the pool & arcade without us, stay in the room while we visit the lounge but no going to the parks without an adult. I am, however, willing to let them ride all the splash rides without me!

  2. With all the debate about WDW transportation vs renting a car, we have appreciated using the WDW transportation buses for our kids to learn how to wait for a bus, board a bus, give up your seat for someone who needs it more, etc.

    We’ve sent kids to wait in the WDW resort lobby for 5 minutes. We’ve arranged a location in World Showcase to meet back after 1 hour.
    We’ve sent a kid back to Fort Wilderness on the boat from the Contemporary (to get a missed pressed penny), and then get back to the Grand Floridian to meet us.
    All involving the development of skills in a relatively safe environment.

  3. Personal responsibility is a big skill for a kid to learn and the age really depends on the individual child as well as the parent. Some children are ready for it sooner than others and some parents just aren’t ready to let go. It was probably a little different for me in that I was the only child of a single parent who worked long hours. I was a latchkey kid by 4th grade and had early independence that a lot of kids don’t necessarily have.

    Vacations are such a great way for kids to learn about the world around them and other cultures. They take you out of your comfort zone and let you experience things you wouldn’t get to do in your normal routine. We went to Germany for a couple of weeks when I was 8 and spent several days at a military R&R hotel where everyone spoke English and they had American food (yeah!). I loved going to the kitchen to ask for stale bread that I would take outside and feed to the swans on the lake. My family let me do this by myself. They knew I wasn’t going to wander off & get lost or get into trouble. Heck, at that hotel if I needed to go to the bathroom during the night, it meant a trip down the hall because our room didn’t have one.

    Our family did a lot of road trips and my grandparents loved to stop at outlet malls when I was kid (back when they had good bargains). Even when I was 10, it was normal for us to split up. I never was much of a shopper and was always a bookworm, so after hitting the few stores I wanted to see they’d know to look for me on a bench near where we started and they’d find me reading. They made sure I always had a little cash so if I wanted a soda or found something cheap I wanted to buy I could (and if I wanted something more expensive I’d just wait until someone found me and then ask for it).

    At 14 I was allowed to fly out to DC by myself to stay with my aunt for a month and my aunt felt it was perfectly safe for me to take to the metro downtown so I could spend the day at the Smithsonian while she had to work as long as I was out of the city by 5pm when the federal workers got out (and she still feels that way about DC). Plus, that was 25 years ago in the days long before cell phones!

  4. The Magical Express age is probably set to match the airlines’ definition of minor. A 12-year-old can fly alone on some airlines, generally someone under 12 (or 14, depending on which airline) falls under the airline’s ‘unaccompanied minor’ rules if there’s no one with them. It makes sense that if someone can get to MCO alone then they should be able to get to their resort alone.